


Zero to Sixty

by indefensibleselfindulgence



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Car Sex, Clothed Sex, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-14 20:37:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21021908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indefensibleselfindulgence/pseuds/indefensibleselfindulgence
Summary: Caleb is new in town, but at least Hot Uber Driver is nice.





	Zero to Sixty

**Author's Note:**

> so i made [ post ](https://iamalivenow.tumblr.com/post/188286363769/has-anyone-written-the-modern-au-caleb-fucks-the) and anyway here's a modern au where caleb fucks hot uber driver essek because the joke had to be taken to its logical extreme

His back is going to hurt so much tomorrow.  
  
But that's tomorrow, that's a future Caleb problem, that's a more sober then current Caleb problem- not that he's drunk. He isn't- drinking and then sleeping with unbearably hot strangers seems like such a bad idea, like even worse then what he's usually used too.  
  
It started out simply, really-  
  
He and Beau needed to get to her library and her bike was in the shop so they ordered a Uber. Beau was busy texting someone, probably Dairon but Caleb was never one for assumptions, so he kept making small talk with Hot Uber Driver. Hot Uber Driver was funny, and considering Caleb was from out of town, very generous in fulfilling tour guide duties for him.  
  
Then they get out of his very nice car and Caleb spends one of the four hours he was allowed to research in fantasizing about Hot Uber Driver taking him on a tour. That may or may not have ended in-  
  
“Dude?” Beau's waving her hand in his face and Caleb clears his throat and nods and pretends to be listening to co-worker drama.  
  
And then they get an Uber back, same Hot Uber Driver.  
  
“Do you work there?” He asks, through the rear-view, to Caleb again, because Beau is on her phone.  
  
“Not really- Partially.”  
  
“Grad student?” Caleb shakes his head, tells him that he's a researcher, that both of them are but he's the tag along. Hot Uber Driver tells them that the town is kind of old fashioned, most people either walk or own their own cars. That Caleb will probably end up seeing a lot of him if he's going to keep taking rides.  
  
“Probably will.” He says. “Sorry for the bother.”  
  
Beau nudges him in the ribs, understandably.  
  
“Essek.” Hot Uber Driver says- Essek says. “And Beauregard?”  
  
“Caleb.” He corrects, and points at Beau who tries to be subtle and fails at hiding her laughter. “Thank you for your time.”  
  
“It's my job.” He says and as Beau gets out Caleb swears Essek winks at him in the rearview.  
  
Okay.  
  
Cool.  
  
Cool and Good and Cool.  
  
He does end up taking several more rides, even when Beau gets her bike fixed. Partially because Hot Uber Driver is really stupidly hot, partially because Beau drives like a maniac and he's horrified for his life. Beau complained about how hard he grips her midsection and yanked up her tank top to show that, yeah, he definitely left bruises. She's partially impressed because who would have thought Caleb had that much strength in him. Partially annoyed.  
  
So he rides around with Essek.  
  
“Is this your only job?” He asks on time, back from the library.  
  
“I only do this for fun really. I work in town hall. If you need anything notarized while you're here I'll let you skip the line.”  
  
“That's very nice of you.”  
  
“You're my number one customer. Least I could do.”  
  
He doesn't take an Uber every day, that would be desperate and he's obviously anything but, when he does though, Essek is always nice. He ignores Beau for the most part, when ever she's there with him, and the one time he met up with Jester and they rode together, Essek pretty much ignored her too.  
  
So it's definitely Caleb, right?  
  
“I'm going to be going out of town for a while.” He doesn't know why he bothers telling his Uber driver off all things, but he does. Essek usual relaxed expression dips into a frown for maybe a split second. “I should be back in a two weeks though? Just work in the Empire.”  
  
“Sounds exciting. Going home?”  
  
“Zadash.” If he had his way he'd never set foot in Blumenthal again. “I'll bring you a souvenir.”  
  
There's a moment of silence and then-  
  
“I'd like that.”  
  
Caleb catches Essek's eyes in the mirror again.  
  
Definitely winking.  
  
He buys Essek a t-shirt from the airport. It's so stupid. It's so unbelievably stupid. Beau takes one look at him at the check out line and laughs so hard she chokes. Maybe a key-chain would have been better, but he already paid for it. So.  
  
Essek likes it, Caleb thinks, even though they way his eyes crinkle when he accepts the gift definitely seems like he's also making fun of him.  
  
But at least Essek can keep the laughter to himself.  
  
They go out to celebrate together, Caleb with Beau and Dairon and the rest of her Beau's team. He's definitely the third wheel of people who actually work for the Cobalt Soul, but he's hung around the Library so much they all know him by now. Dairon knows him well enough to give him a few sly remarks about his weird taxi driver crush, and before Caleb can correct her Beau is pulling them away, telling them about her new filing system.  
  
To Beau's credit she's had three shots of tequila and they've only been here for half an hour so maybe it sounds interesting to her.  
  
Caleb has two beers in an hour - not enough to be drunk, just enough to be tipsy, yes he's sure, and yes, Dairon you don't have to baby sit him, he's an adult man and no Beau, you don't have to wait for him to puke, because he's an adult man, again.  
  
Anyway, that's how he ends up in the backseat of Essek's nice car, bent at a weird angle because Essek is on top of him and running his hands along Caleb's sides.  
  
“Are you sure you're not drunk?”  
  
“Just warm.” Caleb laughs. Smiles up at him. Essek is way too pretty. Even in the yellow light of the parking lot where they pulled over. “Are you?”  
  
“Drunk?” Essek pulls his shirt off, somehow making it look graceful despite the fact that they're crammed into the backseat. “Caleb I drove us here.”  
  
“You could get out of jail.”  
  
“Hm.” And now Caleb is looking up at him, half naked and gorgeous. “Probably. I do work in government.”  
  
Caleb laughs but it ends pretty quickly because Essek's mouth is on his neck, and then on his jaw and when Caleb shuts up, on his lips. He's sure Essek can taste the lager he was drinking earlier but if that bothers Essek at all, he doesn't show it.  
  
“I haven't-” He moves back to his neck, sucking marks into it that Caleb is sure are going to be there tomorrow. “Done this in a while.”  
  
“You know-” Essek pulls back and cups Caleb's face, thumb dragging along his lips, pressing into his mouth. “I sort of figured. You have that, lets say haggard look.”  
  
“Funny.” But he's smiling, even with Essek's thumb running over his teeth.  
  
Essek works his pants off, an even more impressive feat then the shirt earlier because wow he is unbelievably flexible, and then unbuckles Caleb's jeans.  
  
“You're already hard?”  
  
“Ah-” Essek wastes no time wrapping his hand around Caleb's cock, giving it a few solid tugs. “It's been a while.” Caleb's face is on fire, just like his chest, just like all of him.  
  
“It's endearing.” Essek switches hands before leaning into the front half of the car and fumbling with the glove box. “You're going to feel so good when you're in me.”  
  
“Do you need me to- to-” It's hard to think. “To-”  
  
“I fingered myself open before you uh-” He comes back into view, ripping the condom wrapper with his teeth. “Before you called.”  
  
“Eager.” He says and for the first time in maybe ever he sees Essek blush, and of course its hot. “How many- How many times have you-” Well he still totally has the upper hand because his hand is still on Caleb's dick, still stroking him, but the effect is still there. Essek blushes all the way up to his ears.  
  
“I drive you around a lot, don't I?” He doesn't stutter out the words but Caleb counts it as a victory and shit, the thought of Essek sitting at home or even more so at his desk job, making sure no one can see him, biting down on his lip while he works himself open is probably enough to get Caleb all the way there if it wasn't for the beer.  
  
He rolls the condom on and Caleb watches him spread his legs. He reaches out to touch him, run his fingers over the head already smeared and dripping. Why does every part of him have to be so hot- Why does he have to perfect-  
  
He sinks down on him and he really does feel unbelievable. Wet tight heat envelops him, and he has to deal with the fact that he's not going to last very long at all at this rate.  
  
“Knew it.” Essek leans down and kisses him again, hips starting to move slowly. “Knew- Knew you'd feel good.”  
  
Caleb groans when Essek starts moving in earnest. Don't come too fast, Don't come too fast, Don't come to- so much harder to do when Essek is biting at his neck again. He feels so good, looks so good, everything about him is so good. Caleb runs his hands over Essek's chest, brushing his nipples, rolling them with his palm until he can hear Essek hiss right in his ear.  
  
He moves his hands slowly until Essek is panting, then he lifts them from his chest, traces the line of his spine down until he can grab his hips and really start participating.  
  
“Finally-” Essek hisses right along his ear- and the feeling of it makes him shiver. He feels his orgasm build, more and more and Essek looks way too happy for Caleb to finish right now- think of anything else anything else, he closes his eyes and Essek nips at his ear. “Keep looking-” He pants- “Keep looking at me.”  
  
Fuck-  
  
He does come them, fingers digging into Essek's hips hard enough to leave bruises- thinking about him with marks that Caleb left on him drives him a little wild and it's all he can do to keep thrusting up into that him through his orgasm.  
  
He reaches over, starts stroking him faster and faster- Essek has to grip his arm to keep steady- and then with what must be the nicest sounding moan comes all over Caleb's shirt.  
  
Caleb, like a gentleman, strokes him through it until Essek grips Caleb's wrist to get him to slow down, to stop.  
  
“You're-” It takes him a minute to catch his breath. “More talented then I thought.”  
  
“I try.”  
  
He even succeeds sometimes.

**Author's Note:**

> comments are always encouraged and appreciated
> 
> find me on[ tumblr ](http://iamalivenow.tumblr.com/) and [ twitter](https://twitter.com/licotain)


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